This will be quick. Your Friday is full. Mine too.
This month we are working the kriya to remove disease. We move the abdomen, the home of the immune and digestive systems. We keep our Agni, our sacred and metabolic fires stoked and our inner engines running well and healthy.
However, disease is also dis-ease. To be out of our Ease is to be out of our Selves. Out of that Divine sense of home and contentment in terms of who and how we are. Sometimes we are so far out that we can't remember what that connection feels like or how to return. Sometimes it just needs fine tuning. And then there are those blessed hours or days that feel strung together miraculously where the flow is in and through and all around us.
In the worst of moments we feel swept away by external challenge. We can't think of anything that will help. We can't remember what to do. We can't find our way home. Returning is a practice. Step by step we tune back in to what resonates as familiar until the pull gets stronger and clearer and more Instructions are ours to follow. A step at a time. Breath by breath. We need stamina and determination as challenge arises - this month's kriya builds that. We need attunement and skillful stillness to find our way - this kriya builds that too.
Today I took my girl to the oral surgeon to have 8 teeth removed that had bonded to her jaw bone. I was scared for her. She was scared. We both put on brave fronts for each other. We came home shaking and shaken but whole and better for all the grand dental support and the wonder of painkillers. We curled into the bed and fell asleep for 20 minutes. Home. Then it got harder. Then harder. And I felt I wasn't a good mom, I couldn't make it Better. But I kept company. And harder. And I felt her anger at me. And I stayed steady. We listened to Harry Potter. Did a puzzle. Card game. Soup. Sharp eyes. Sharp words. Who did I think I was, thinking I could console her - console anyone? The thoughts and feelings grew. Blame. Victim. Shame.
I was in dis-ease.
Her dad stopped by to visit. She leapt up. They went to play a game of pool in the lobby - she was suddenly revived. I tried to be purely grateful and not measure myself against the way she came back to life when he arrived. I knew I had 20 minutes to reset. I knew I needed to return to my Self to be useful later - for me and for her.
In that moment (17 minutes) to myself I :
1. put on MUSIC - change the frequency, change the pulse, shift
2. rolled out my mat
3. got sweaty
4. got breathless
5. got still
6. got grateful
7. washed my face and brushed my teeth and changed clothes
8. put on essential oils to clear the air and heal us all
9. cleared my head and heart and was ready to start again
So now I start again. In my Ease.
Generous with my care.
Steady in my company so she can feel what she needs to but I don't take it personally.
A source of ease for her to return to. To draw on. To trust.
This is how we return: Get moving. Get diligent. Use music. Use scent. Use the resources you have around you that you love. Light a candle. Get still. Get grateful. Go outside. Go inside. So many ways that you can come back to the thought that you are a source of healing and love.
What are your outer triggers? What causes you to internalize someone else's mood or experience as if it was your own? Do you know how to return yourself so you are free from blaming those you love and want to help? Do you see the minutes or moments open to you that can be the remedy if used well?
Make a list.
You are the cure.
We can learn how to be our greatest remedy, how to heal our own dis-ease.
Come and practice.
Again and again and again.
You are needed.
See you there.
Much love, Martha xxx